Fries with Your Falafel?

A few days back, while waiting for a bus on the corner of Oakland and Locust here in Milwaukee, I ran into a young woman handing out promotional flyers for Shiraz, a nearby Middle Eastern restaurant. I took one of the flyers and had a good laugh because it promised to the bearer - I swear - a free order of French fries with their lunch or dinner! Two older men who received a flyer and walked past me were audibly puzzling over the offer. In a thick Russian accent, one asked the other, "Why is Shiraz giving away French fries?"

That same day when I got home, there were some bright pink flyers in the mail bin at my apartment complex. I grabbed one and took it upstairs. It was a promotional menu for William Ho's, a longtime Chinese eatery in suburban Shorewood. Emblazoned on the front page was the offer of free buffalo wings - yes, buffalo wings - to those who purchased two dinners (or something to that effect).

"Assimilation has its limits, dammit!" cracked a friend, who is a fellow lover of non-American foods.

I wanted to end this blog with some witty comment like, "What's next, a burger with your Pad Thai?" But the reality is already too funny.

"Some fries with your falafel?"

"Some buffalo wings with your won ton?"

Whatever gets 'em through the door, I guess . . .

W: A Poem

In anticipation of President Bush's promised VETO of the Congressional measure expanding health care coverage for America's poorest kids, and in exercise of my First Amendment right to criticize the most despicable individual ever to hold the office of President, I offer this heartfelt poem.

Woefully unprepared.

Willfully blind.

Wickedly deceitful.

Wildly delusional.

Witless.

Worthless.

Wanting.

Weenie.

Weasel.

Whiner.

Wastrel.

Warped.

War criminal.

Worst president ever.