Saturday, May 19, 2007

My Bernie Mac Moment

I sat before the TV Wednesday evening, stunned.

“America, it just can’t be.”

I swore I wouldn’t get hooked in but there I was.

“America, what were you thinkin’?

Just in time to see Melinda Doolittle get booted off American Idol.

“America, you blew it.”

Best singer this year.

“Ooo-ooh, baby girl!”

Defeated, she thinks, by her age – 29!

“Whassup wi’ dat?”

– and the age of her supporters, apparently making them too decrepit to dial fast enough!

“I’m hurtin’, I’m hurtin’.”

Forget Simon’s shock.

“America, this cain’t be.”

I turned off the TV –

“America, whatchu thinkin’?

– stared at my reflection on the dark screen,

“America – for shame.”

and couldn’t stop channeling Bernie Mac.

“America – you wrong.”

Friday, May 04, 2007

GOP Contenders: Lowering the Bar

Well, the many old, white, male GOP candidates for President had their first debate last night. Each seemed to outdo the other to prove his conservative credentials, especially on the "family values" front.

Giuliani, the former pro-gay, pro-abortion social liberal, continued contorting himself into the type of reactionary any evangelical would be proud to vote for. On this night, Rudy said it would be fine if the Supreme Court reversed Roe v. Wade. Dems ought to call out their own "Flip-Flop" brigades to hound him around the country. Even more incredible was the response to whether the candidates believe in evolution. In a frightening harbinger for the future of science in America, only McCain said yes, then backtracked to cover his butt by saying that when one sees the Grand Canyon, one can't help believing it has been touched by the hand of God. Cue the harps.

But the most despicable comment and backtracking came from Wisconsin's own former bumbler, er, I mean, governor, Tommy Thompson. You know, the one who recently told an audience of Jewish leaders that he was making good money now that he was out of politics and he knew his audience could really appreciate that. The following exchange took place last night:

MODERATOR: Governor Thompson, If a private employer finds homosexuality immoral, should he be allowed to fire a gay worker?

THOMPSON: I think that is left up to the individual business. I really sincerely believe that that is an issue that business people have got to make their own determination as to whether or not they should be.

MODERATOR: OK. So the answer's yes.


Thompson, who is reportedly hearing impaired, says today that he did not hear the full question and answered incorrectly. Maybe. But given his characteristically inarticulate reply, who knows what this bozo will say (or do) about anything?

How do such middling piss ants become candidates for president?

Oh, that's right. The current occupant lowered the bar.